I spent the night
Admiring no one, nothing,
But the moon, the stars
And the immensity of the night
I wandered off the streets
On a cold December night
That was even made colder
But no less than the loneliness i contain
My friend, the Great Silence accompanied me
And things were great
Then i saw people
Their houses opened, candles were lit
Smiles and laughter was shared
That time, i felt lonely.
How was it like to have a family?
I’m starting to forget how it feels
Because these people hate me
But i hate myself more than they do
I was not struck by the earthquake
Nor was i ravaged by the typhoon
Yet it is the feeling that matters
And all in all, i felt both –even more of that.
My mother tells me
That things were already okay
That the fight has been settled
And that they learned their lesson.
It made no difference for me
How easy for her to tell me for me to be okay
But it’s not; nor will it ever be
The happening has changed me
It has, as it seems, branded me with its curse.
And i’m bound to be like this
No one can save me
I can’t even picture it anymore
Trying to save myself
No one can, not even I.
Alas, as this piece concludes
Whether the miserable life continues
Or if it ceases to exist [which, of course, i desire to]
I wish you all
The happiness, the peace
But most of all –the love.
For no greater sickness has there existed
But the feeling of being unloved or unwanted
And i never wanted you all to feel that way.